Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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