so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
