I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
