if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
