'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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