I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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