I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
