We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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