It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
