Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
