Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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