oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
