If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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