Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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