The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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