I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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