idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
