exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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