I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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