I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
