We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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