I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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