u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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