Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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