i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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