I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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