Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
