fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize