all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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