Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
