Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
