I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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