You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
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like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
