she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
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Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
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You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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