I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
