she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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