im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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