Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize