am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
