Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
