wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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