We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
