YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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