Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing