I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
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Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Send help, water and tortillas.
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I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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