I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
