Soap is not a condiment
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
