Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
