nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize