you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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