you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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