wrigley field is MILF paradise
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize