u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
