I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
