cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Houston, we have a blender
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize