his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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