Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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