cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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