By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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