just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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