the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
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If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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