wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We left the knife in your bed.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
